Forget what I said before about the Beatles Today is an REM kind of day
Shiny Happy People!!


I also had my first ever Golf Lesson today, although i doubt that's responsible for my incredible mood - - my shoulders hurt - and my right forearm is tired. I'm also a klutz, but that's OK (according to the instructor, you are supposed to feel kinda klutzy! He also said once I started actually hitting the ball (instead of missing it) I'd be great!!!) I don't know if I'll ever have a second golf lesson . . . (maybe) but now at least I can say I golfed!! (or at least tore up some grass!!)

FINALLY, Tonight is my last Larry class of the semester!! Yipee!!!!!

How do we become happy and genuine, joyful and free?
Only by getting in touch with happy, genuine human beings
- Charles Malue

Hhhhhmmmmm.......
I'm supposed to write a short essay on what motivates me . . .
But, I just can't get motivated enough to do it!

From Steve Strachan's blog!
Little Mary was in the garden filling up a hole in the dirt, when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Mary?" "My goldfish died," replied Mary tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was very concerned.

"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Mary patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

One year ago today, I taught my last lesson in WDM!
One year ago tomorrow, I finished packing!
One year ago the next day, I moved!

One year ago today, I had a good idea of what I wanted and clear life goals
Six months ago, I had less of an idea of what I wanted, but a general life direction
Today, I haven't got a clue.

I'm second guessing myself and my supposed "life plans." Part of it can be blamed on the self-confidence tail spin (and general apathy) of the last couple weeks; But it's been bubbling around in the back of my mind longer than that - I think the last month has just brought it all up to the surface. (Delfi's been waffling on this stuff for a couple years - Now she's got it all figured out - - maybe it's just my turn to be the confused one!!)

I taught Miller how to "high five" a couple weeks ago
It was fun (and he thought so too!)
He's an expert now
EXCEPT he doesn't seem to understand the part about only hitting the other person's hand (and not their face, legs, or arms)
SO NOW . . . he's hitting people and yelling "FIVE" at the top of his lungs thinking it's fun

Oops!

"Oh Tiger-Lily" said Alice addressing herself to one that was waving gracefully about in the wind. "I wish you could talk!"

"We can talk," said the tiger lily, "when there's anybody worth talking to."

- from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll

The Parking Story Continues . . . .
(Part 3 of a not very interesting, yet on-gong saga)
You can also read Part 1 and Part 2

Right after the layoffs, they gave me Becky's parking spot in the garage.
I didn't use it 'cause it felt like I was being a tratior or something.
It only took me three weeks to figure out my silent secret "parking protest" changes nothing (even if it weren't secret or silent it changes nothing - it doesn't even make me feel better).(DUH . . . )
SO this morning I slept in an extra half hour (!!!!)
And instead of parking in a residential area (for free) and walking a mile and a half to work - I parked in the garage (for free) and walked two blocks.
Cool eh??

Almost every European political movement, conservative or revolutionary, has made Beethoven a posthumous party member. Depending on who you might have talked to over the past two centuries, he was a Marxist, a Nazi, a parliamentary democrat and a monarchist. He celebrated kings, gave hope to the proletariat, and vigorously supported all sides during the Second World War.

Full Article Here

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phonix is in my hot little hands!!
I KNOW WHO DIES!! (it isn't Dumbledor *- whew!) But it is someone important!
If you wanna know before you finish reading the book, click on "blog back" and I'll happily spoil it for you!


* Although, Dumbledor might as well be dead - - he isn't the same man we knew and loved in the first four books. It's hard to like him this time around

Grouch-O-Meter is at 125%
The whole world is driving me crazy
I'd become a hermit and run away - but I have to get a paper and presentation ready for Monday
GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Dream Big

If there were ever a time to dare,
to make a difference,
to embark on something worth doing,
it is now.
Not for any grand cause, necessarily-
but for something that tugs at your heart,
something that's your aspiration,
something that's your dream.

You owe it to yourself
to make your days here count.
Have fun.
Dig Deep.
Stretch.

Dream big.

Know, though, that things worth doing
seldom come easy.
There will be good days.
There will be times when you want to turn around,
pack it up,
and call it quits.
Those times tell you
that you are pushing yourself,
that you are not afraid to learn by trying.

Persist.

Because with an idea,
determination,
and the right tools,
you can do great things.
Let your instincts,
your intellect,
and your heart
guide you.

Trust.

Believe in the incredible power of the human mind.
Of doing something that makes a difference.
Of working hard.
Of laughing and hoping.
Of lazy afternoons.
Of lasting friends.
Of all the things that will cross your path this year.

The start of something new
brings the hope of something great.
Anything is possible.
There is only one you.
And you will pass this way only once.
Do it right.
--- Macintosh ad from 1991


Yeah - - More on this later - - once it gets less fuzzy in my mind!
On one hand it is crystal clear - - a "YES!" moment - - but I'm simeotaneously clue-free at the same time.

14 hour days are long, but 'ya know . . .. when you like doing it - - it doesn't feel like work. Being at home doing nothing (or doing school work!) THAT'S hard work (and much less enjoyable)

Perhaps the most important thing we can
undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make
it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves.
- Bonaro Overstreet

My internship officially began this weekend (I read 5 inches worth of a procedure mannual!) Today I actually got to work in the office (tabulating surverys and doing data entry). Tomorrow I get to assemble volunteer packets (also known as "stand at the copy machine!") It is going to be good - but beginnings are slow, and I'm just tired and cynical tonight. (And grouchy)

Dead Music ?? The working title of my thesis is "The State of the Symphony". Old people are cyring that Classical Music is in trouble because audiences as dying off, and kids today don't like Bach, so there won't be anyone around to buy tickets - blah blah blah. They are wrong, and, (after examining both sides of the issue) my paper will prove it! (a mini version of the paper will be avaliable in a week - mark your calendars!) But maybe my topic is too narrow, because critics are now declaring that Rock Music is also Dead!!

Though it gives me no joy whatsoever to say it, I've become certain that rock is in its last days. And I've started to believe that the subgenre that appears on the surface to offer rock its best hope for a full recovery is actually nothing more than a sign that death is nearer than anyone had thought. I've begun to believe that the far-reaching and seemingly endlessly expansive subgenre of rock-based experimental music is simply a function of the sickly old art form examining its life . . . .

LANCASTER, UK The hackened clich� of a bull in a china shop came to life in this rural town last month when a bull escaped from an auction market and crashed into a antiques centre. There it rampaged around the china, furniture and bric-�-brac, injuring one customer, until it was blocked in with two antique organs and brought down by a police marksman
From The Art Newspaper

S U M M E R W R I T I N G P R O J E C T S
1. Article with the intention of being published (!!!!) When this originally came up I was thinking someone else would write it - and it would be published state wide. BUT then I was asked to write it, and now there is talk of publishing it nationaly!!!!! (yikes! better start writing)

2. Paper which will (hopefully) become the core of my thesis, and is due in 10 days (yikes! better start writing)

3. This "thing" which has been on my mind for almost a year now. I'm not smart enough to write it, but the bits and pieces won't go away . . . . It's a big mess . . . . but now it's going to be a big mess on paper instead of a big mess inside my brain!

4. regular school stuff (which is about 5 more little papers and case studies - yuck!)

Last night, I met Cheryl Pashke - - - The "Phyllis Staplin" of the Minneapolis Public Schools . . . INCREDIBLE!!! Whoda thunk there'd be TWO of them doing exactly the same job 300 miles apart?!?!? Even their husbands are alike!!! (Spooky!) Of course, we had a FABULOUS (I kid you not) conversation about string teaching, and then she did some general encoragement and cheerleading TOO FUNNY!!! (but it's nice to have a personal general cheerleader around!!)

In the words of the Beatles . . .
I've got to admit it's getting better,
a little better all the time

I still fell tired and stressed out (despite LOTS and LOTS of sleep) but it's not so overwhelming anymore . . . For the first time in a week I'm feeling O.K. (And OK is a million times better than what I was feeling a week ago!!)

I want to know the world.
You can discover incredible things
- Yo-yo Ma in This Article

Last day of school. Last school pay check until August

I didn't go backpacking over the weekend - partly because it was so rainy, and partly because I didn't feel like it. JON, however, convinced me to go with him to check out the park (I didn't feel like arguing either). We scouted out the place, and found the good campsites. It's a nice place (and it's still early enough to not be crowded!) Maybe next weekend (maybe not).

Survivors Guilt
Psychologists and business professors say that survivors of layoffs experience many of the same conflicting emotions as survivors of much greater hardships, such as plane crashes or wars.

"On the one hand you're happy to be alive, a positive emotion," says Columbia Business School professor Joel Brockner, a leading expert on corporate survivor syndrome. "But it's sprinkled in with a heavy dose of negative emotion: 'Maybe it's not over,' 'It could happen to me.'"

Brockner says survivors often feel guilt that they kept their job while others lost theirs. "The more they feel, 'It could have been me,' the greater the guilt," he says.

Yeah - it could've/ should've happened to me. The former intern currently holding the postition of "Envelope Licker" should not be the one left after a restructuring . . . Esp. since Becky is the one who helped me with everything I didn't know (and still don't know!) don't like this - - don't like it at all

I've been too lethargic (and too grouchy) to post this week - it's been awful. But it may have run it's course. Today doesn't feel as rotten as yesterday (or even last night)

The "restructuring" at YA might be part of the problem . . . BUT the only place / time where I'm not feeling melencoly is at the YA offices (explain that one!!)

I could blame it on exhaustion - but I'm sleeping A LOT lately (like 10 - 12 hours a night!) General stress would be a good excuse - but I'm all caught up with my life and have nothing due for at least two weeks.

Who knows - - I'm hoping to snap out of it (and SOON this sucks)

Homesick for Crestwood I never expected that to happen. More on this later

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONO NO NO Becky's gone too -- becky was my kindred spirit - becky understands everything. Becky was amazing. Becky helped me with everything. Becky is the person whose job I moved into - - now I feel like a tratior - - (and it's even worse 'cause I was just offered their parking spaces - rotten day

NNNOOOOOOO!!!!! Linda's position was eliminated. Her resignation was on e mail this morning. )-: I like Linda, I like being around Linda, Linda represents all that was right and good with the world. How can little old me (the person with the least experience and the puniest responsibilities) essentially get a raise, while she gets canned. I don't like it. ) -: ) -:

YES!!! YIPEE!! COOL!! SO EXCITED!!! I found a state campground not too far from here (practically in my back yard) that has backpacking trails!!!! It's close enough that it doesn't require a serious vacation comittment -- but is suposedly primitive enough to give me my backpacking "fix"!!! Jon has agreed to be my backpackng buddy (unless he gets a job) and we're going to go check it out next weekend!!!! I'M VERY HAPPY!!!

Deep thought from Jordon over at "Isabella's" site.

Being overly skeptical does not make you smarter than others.
You are just intellectually timid
yeah . . .

So tired . . . . . yesterday I volunteered at the Chidlrens Festival, came home and slept until bedtime (at which point I woke up, brushed my teeth, and went to bed!) My eyes are tired this morning. I also got a letter from my insurance company yesterday. Apperently my little academy hasn't paid it's insurance premiums for a while, so I've lost my health insurance!!! (gggrrrrrr.........)