Monday, December 22, 2003

Assorted Quotes
I want to move into a universe I trust so much that I give up playing God. I want to stop holding things together. I want to experience such safety that the concept of "allowing" - trusting that the appropriate forms can emerge - ceases to be scarey. I want to surrender my care of the universe and become a participating member, with everyone I work with, in an organization that moves gracefully with its environmnet, trusting in the unfolding dance of order.
- Margret Wheatly
From Leadership and the New Science

"We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness, which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us..."
—Marcel Proust

Someone's trying to kill me!
And this time, I'm not just saying that to get attention!
- Dale Gribble

Curiosity is the cure for boredom
There is no cure for curiosity!

They say that time changes things,
but actually you have to change them yourself
-- Andy Warhol.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

OK, I'm back (kind of)
One might argue that I was never really gone.
And one might argue that I'm not really back either

I have had another site with the yucky "Brain Vomit"-kind of self absorbed garbage since mid-summer. And after I stoped updating this site, I realized that all the quotes that came across my desk needed to go somewhere - so I started another blog to hold random quotes.

It's silly to have three sites - - esp. since I like the layout on this one (and hate the layout over there). And it's silly not to use this space just so it won't look like I've changed my mind on quiting (although maybe I have - - I dono).

SO . . . I'm re-opening this space. Over the next two weeks I'm going to move those quotes and shut down that site. Any future quotes or interesting stuff will go right here.

But you won't see life vinnettes in this space. If I hate my job; feel like a crabby bitch; need to ponder my life direction; or just want to yell and scream - - - that will happen in the smelly privacy of The Personal Puke Blog. (no link)
And if I have a good day, get a nice grade on a paper, or eat a chocolate-carmel-covered-oreo - - - you probably won't read about it here. (Although my sister did give me chocolate-carmel-covered-oreos for Christmas - - yummy!!)

At some point - - the vomit-y stuff might find its way here.
and / or
At some point - - the the excitment of Oreos might find its way here.
But mostly, for now, this will be an infrequently updated collection of quotes, poems, articles, and stuff like that -

My first quote to transfer from the other site comes from Margret Wheatly (who says it's ok that I changed my mind about completely abandoning this blog!!)

Predication and replication are impossinble.
While this is no doubt unsettling, it certainly makes for a more interesting world.
People stop being predicable and become surprising.
Each of us is a different person in different places.
This doesn't make us inauthentic; it merely makes us quantam.
Not only are we fuzzy; the whole universe is!

- Margret Wheatly
from Leadership and the New Science p. 36

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Back in Blog-ness??
No, not really,
I'm still too crabby (and lacking the energy to "play" happy)
But I feel like gab-ing tonight
Once upon a time, I'd go over to Minday's place, or Heidi's, or Karen's to chat.
I miss that.

This is a "Bah Humbug"-kind of Christmas for me - - the cumulation of a lot of things, none of which are appropriate for this space. (crabby grouch!) I don't quite hate christmas - but almost. Anyway, tonight I poked through the Christmas cards addressed to the VW family - - This is the One Glimmering Bright Spot of Christmas. I love reading the cards from people I don't get to see very often - - A card came from Diane (big smile!) with normal Diane-talk which was SO NICE to read. And the Kloose's sent a card - The last time we saw them was at my Grandfather's funeral (come to think of it, that's the last time I saw Diane too!)

Grandpa's Funeral - - that's some chatty kind of gab-ing stuff. It was such a surprise to see Diane there - - With all the stuff going on, I hadn't heard she was even back in the sates, much less in Chicago. Hee hee - - she had "tatoos" on her hands and feet (a going home present from her Mali Friends) and she was getting ready to try out new malaria drugs (which have halucingenic side effects!) Then there was the jiving pooh-bear from 'da hundred acre hood, and lots of fun stuff (of course, being a funeral, there was the not-so-fun stuff too - - - but it doesn't matter all the fun stuff and not fun stuff kinda blur together in one great big memory). Dykstra sent the family a card as well. He cried at Grandpa's funeral. I never would have thought that HE had feelings. (Last week, this dude driving a garbage truck was VERY kind to me in snowy, yucky, traffic - - if it had been a mini-van, or a school bus, I would not have given it a second thought - -but the fact that it was a garbage truck was almost enough to cause a total melt-down - which is probably why I'm thinking about all this right now - - I'd much rather go back to thinking about all the Christmas cards I got!!).

Enough teary stuff. The semester is over - - I think my grades sliped, but I don't care (does anyone care about your grad school GPA?) It's not like I don't know the material - - it's just silly mistakes on the silly busy work. I'm already itching for next semester - - - I've picked up some books to keep me out of trouble - - - and there's plenty of stuff that I'm behind on - - - so it's not like I'll get bored. But I'll miss hanging out with the world's coolest people and talking about artsy gossip and stuff . . . . )

Development was fabulous - - and Development teacher will also be teaching Governance next semester (The woman is incredible. I wrote a 12 page paper for her class (and got an A on it!) But she wrote back two TYPED pages of comments, ideas, and questions! I LOVE THAT WOMAN!!) Development at YA is less fabulous - - I'm not sure how I feel about the new development director - - We are past the friendly pleasantries stage and trying to figure out how to work with each other. (this means she has to put up with my unguarded crabby-ness, and i get to put up with her quirks too).

The new YA website is up - VERY EXCITING - - except the porn problem. (If you go to you get our fabulous website - - but if you go to you are re-directed to a porn site! This isn't funny - but it's also worth a giggle or two!!) We talked to the web experts and our lawyer - - there's nothing we can do about it - - so YA is going to buy the names YoungAudiencesMN. com, .org, and .net and spend the next year changing things over. (It is going to be a pain - - but our website is FANTASTIC and having a porn re-direct with such a closely associated name is realy not good for an arts-in-education organization!!!!)

Here's another thing that bugs me - - it appears that half the world went out and got a medical degree last night - Not only that, but they ALL seem to think they are my personal physician. I was "diagnoised" with several maladies today and even told which drugs I should be taking. Leave me alone
I'm fine - - Thank you for your concern, but leave me alone

I'm thinking about a lot of stuff right now (or spending my time trying to avoid thinking about stuff). like my anti-social tendencies, and how much I enjoy being around people. (confused?? me too!!! It's kinda like that band Paranoid Social Club ) And then, on top of that, I hate most people most of the time, except for the brief moemnts when I think the world is wonderful. (maybe I really am as crazy as my personal physicians seem to think).

And I don't want to live alone again. It was great being on my own in WDM - - but - - - I donno. Long Story - - I am so much lonley-i-er than I expect when everyone else is gone and I'm the only person here. I think I'm too introverted to be left alone in my own place - - 'cause I would (and do) just sit here all alone and depressed for days if I have nothing to do or no reason to make people contact.

My throat is kinda tingling - - it's time to go find something warm to drink, and head off for bed

Adios - - -maybe I'll come back in two months to chat again (or maybe not) - who knows?? My plan to improve my life sans-blogging didn't work - - I read what i wrote in my last post - - - and it's basically something I could write today - - - I haven't done a thing in the last two months to "live more" or "hug and punch and make love and let people see me cry"- - - so much for intentions. Maybe after the holidays I'll be able to make some sort of a move on that (or maybe not). status quo.
bah humbug
Good Night