Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Wedding planning is going slowly.
There are so many things I just don't care about
I just want to get married - not worry about ribbons for the favors!
But this piece was just the thing to brighten my day.
Excerpt posted here for my future reference/benefit!

Pretty much everything in the world is unnecessary. I'm tempted to say everything in this world is unnecessary, but I'll wait to the end to say that.

For starters, pork loin in a tomatillo & chipotle sauce is unnecessary. So are pine cones. Golf is unnecessary. Golf really is unnecessary. The accordian is unnecessary. Churches sitting on the edge of a hill overlooking a bay of water are unnecessary. Panes of glass reaching 20 feet into the air. Black and white photography. An Armani suit. An Ethiopian gold cross. Medieval chanting in Latin. All unnecessary.

You know what else is unnecessary? The 1662 Book of Common Prayer. It's nice, but not necessary. Not really. Seriously. We appreciate it. It helps us, but ultimately unnecessary. And priests? They're not necessary either--not to formalize a marriage vow. That only happened post Council of Trent.

The Celtic goose and the paisley design and a 10 Year-Old Tawny port are unnecessary. John Keble's poetry is unnecessary and he lived from 1792-1866, so he should know. China is definitely unnecessary--both kinds.

The cha-cha-cha is ridiculous. Nobody needs cha-cha-cha. Nobody would ever die if cha-cha-cha never existed. And I hate to say this, ladies, but chocolote is thoroughly unnecessary. Not milk, not white, not dark, not bitter, not any frufy kind of it, none of it. Deal with it.

All the flowers in this world are categorically unnecessary. They don't need us, we don't need them. I wish them gone.

Small talk is out. Trucks should never have been invented in the first place. And calligraphy is for people who can't handle the straight truth.

Glitter is for sissies.

And every single thing I've mentioned here is a part of our wedding. None of it is necessary, not a lick of it.

You may think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. I'm dead serious. You know the only thing we need to be wedded? It's this: I stand in front of Phaedra, she in front of me, and we say, "Do you want to get married? Yes." And we're married. That's it. Two people witness it and we're through. Worked for the first family east of Eden, works for us.

We don't need colors, we don't need fancy sounds, we don't need tasty foods, we don't need special movement, we don't need flowers that smell good. We don't need art. We don't.

And we don't need frolicking underwear.
That was bonus.
Read the Rest