OLD
I'm 29 and 1/2
The fact that I still count birthdays in halves prooves that I'm not old enough to be almost 30
BUT I'm feeling very (very) old!

Exhibit A - Creeky Pain
My elbow hurts,
My knees hurt,
I'm popping pills/whining like an ar·thritic little old lady
(key word "old")

Exhibit B - Flirty Old Guy
So I'm sitting a waiting room, waiting
This older guy (like "grown-up old") comes in
Catches my eye, and starts talking
(Not a problem - talkative people amuse me!)
He is a grown-up.
He owns a house (he told me all about his beautiful house).
He is old.
He talks about his surgeries (past and future)
He is old.
But in his excessive small talk and flirting, he mentions the year he graduaed high school - and this "Flirty Old Guy" is only three years older than me!!!

Exhibit C - Old Old Old
My Brownie Girl Scouts want to do an overnight a Camp Snoopy
(Camp Snoopy is the indoor amusement park at the Mall of America)
Can words express how much I don't want to sleep over at Camp Snoopy?
No.
They Can't
Because anyone who isn't OLD would love the idea of being at Camp Snoopy all night
But I'm Old
Old. Old. Old