Sunday, September 18, 2005


I have not been wearing a bicycle helmet when I ride.
First of all, they are expensive
Secondly, HELMET = DORK (unless you're wearing really tight bicycyle pants and a funky green shirt and sunglasses, and really cool cycyling gloves - THEN Bicycle helmet = part of the expensive supercool outifit!)

I'm not a bicycle racer, and thus have no bicycle racing clothes, but I knew, deep down in the back of my mind, that I needed to get a helmet - it's just the resposible, grown up thing to do. And everyone has a "they'd be dead if they weren't wearing a helmet story." And I've been a dork for most of my life; I might as well have the helmet!

Oh yeah - Helmets are on sale now (because it's the end of the season) so if I'm going to be Dorky Helmet Girl, I might as well do it for a 20% discount!

So, I went to the bicycle store and picked up a grey one just like Jon's (becuase Jon is cool - and maybe copying him will make me less of a dork - expcet copycats are always dorks . . . so never mind that part).

This morning I took the new helmet out for a spin.
All summer I've ridden (and I've ridden LOTS) without falling
But today, I have that stupid, expensive, dorky helmet on . . . and it's not quite fitting right (because your head position when standing is different from your head position when you're learning over a bicycle)

So I take off my sun glasses, and the helmet, and try to adjust the straps while I'm riding (because, why should I stop? I'm multi-tasking!)

* * * *

One of my least favorite classes in grad school was Project Management
I really hated project management
It was the biggest waste of time, money, and energy.
And then, quite to my surprise, I went and dated a project manager

When I presented my thesis, the introduction was all about how "I'm seeing this guy, who is smart, and makes good mac-and-cheese, and is not a musician, but that's ok because he went to the symphony with me didn't clap between movements. The really shocking part about this match, esp. for those of you who were forced to sit next to me in a certain two-credit general management class, is that this fella is a PROJECT MNAGER!"

(It was a very engaging intorduction - which is good because I presented just before lunch and everyone was a little tired, hungry, and bored. But they all paid attenetion through my presentation - and they laughed, which made me laugh, which made me a little less nervous because I knew that however much the facutly might beat me up - that my classmates would support me (Behold the power of Project Management Hatred and boy-talk!)

* * * *

There were quite a few good stories to come out of project management. The Project-Manager-Boyfriend (who, as you know, dumped me a few weeks after the thesis presentation) particulaily liked the story about dead bodies. But there was also the Hot Tamales Story, the Hangman story, and the big 'ole Cheating story. Project Management was a miserable class - but we certainly made the best out of it!

But those stories are stories for another day.
Today, the only thing I want to say about project managment is that Professor Project Management did not like multi-tasking. (He was also a horrible awful rotten teacher who didn't beleive in teaching us too much because one of his students might be a corporate spy trying to steal his secrets -sheesh!) Professor Project Management did not nelieve in multi-tasking. He said multi-tasking was impossible. (Of course all the multi-tasking Arts Admin. students begged to differ - but after the whole dead body thing we all laid low and didn't argue (much).

* * * *

Anyway, I was bicycling and fiddling with my helmet in a multi-tasking kind of way (because I saw no need to stop the bicycle, get off and mess with the helmet while standing.The helmet fit fine when I wasn't biking - it was learning forward over a bicycle that changed the position of my head and made it fit funny).

So Julie is fiddilng with the helmet with one hand, and steering (plus holding sunglasses, and the helmet, so I can see the straps I'm fiddling with) with the other hand. And lost my balance, tried to swerve to recover, and ended up under a very twisted bicyle in the first fall of the season.

The Ghost of Professor Project Management laughed at me - In fact i think he was in the car that drove by and honked!

I completely blame the helmet
(And I wasn't even wearing the darn thing!)

It was a spectacular fall, complete with a long skid
I have one skinned knee, and another very bloody kneee that would make any 4th grade tomboy proud
And I banged up my arm a bit (I don't knwo where, no bruises yet, but it hurts to straighten my elbow - - yowie!)

The headlight took the worst of it (which I suppose is OK because I don't like riding at night and never used the headlight)
And the shifters are a little dented
And in case you didn't catch it the first time, I completely blame the helmet

Safety first or not at all.