MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
My newest private student learned Mary Had a Little Lamb this past week
He played it for me today at m.m.=440
Unbelieveable

So I told him the FULL story of Mary (We all know the first part of the story . . . Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go. And they were very happy

That's where most adults stop.
Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I think grown-ups are afraid to tell kids the TRUTH about Mary. So I told my student that this was the next part of the story - which contains violence and other horrid things that the adults wouldn't like . . .

One day, Mary was out playing at the park with her little lamb (whose fleece was white as snow). They were playing on the slide together when all the sudden the lamb fell off and hit the ground with a great big CRACK of broken bones and such. There was blood everywhere. And the lamb cried, and Mary cried. And they were very sad.

And then, after he finished laughing at me, I taught my student how to play F naturals to turn our song into a Sad Mary tune with a minor key. We talked about going slowly (because sad and slow go together like peanut butter and jelly you see) and making occassional sobbing noises in the rests.

And he did an awesome, fabulous, marveous, job! (F naturals are quite difficult to do - and playing slowly is gosh darn impossible for a 6 year old!)

And then I told him about the happy ending (The lamb gets a cast and has a doctor's note that gets him out of PE for a couple of months - which is always good. PLUS the lamb doesn't have to practice violin while he's casted up - which means he has more time to watch tv! The lamb recovers and lives Happily Ever After with Mary [cue Happy Mary, really fast and with F sharps!]

Now, my new student does not know this yet - but next week I'll ask him to make up his own sad story. (Past students have had lambs getting lost in dark movie theaters, being run over by semi-trucks, being eating by a crocidile, and freezing to death in snow banks).

I'm not sure what it says about my personailty - but Sad Mary Tragedies are my most favorite part of teaching beginners. (maybe I wouldn't laugh if it were *MY* pet lamb being captured by clowns and shot out of a circus cannon, but it's gosh darn fun to hear about Mary's lamb flying though the stratosphere!)

My students only play in a minor key (with those beautiful F naturals) after a lamb diaster - that's about as much music theory as they can handel. But theory geeks and I have pondered the appropriate modes -- maybe Phrygian or Locrian for something truly tragic (like Little Lamb going to the slaughter house and being turned into dinner). Or Dorian for medium-awful events (like being kidnapped with a ransom note requiring Mary to eat lima beans). But to be really fun, you really need to have a paino (and have consumed a few tastey adult beverages!)