December 11, 1996 was a Wednesday.
I got the e mail right after lunch.
"Call home. Love, Mom"

Lunch had been macarnoi and cheese
with root beer and a chocolate chip cookie.
(Why do I remember the food so vividly?)

Dinner that night was chicken enchalidads with rice.
Mindy forced me to eat.
We sat with Michael Hackforth and Joe Eason.
Michael and Joe philosophized about rice,
Then threw ice cubes at Mindy.

Uncle Mickey and Aunt Pearl picked me up.
They drove 10 hours just to get me home,
But I didn't feel like talking.
So I pretended to sleep for the entire ride.

Uncle Mickey took me straight to the funeral home.
I remember the drive in on Harlem Ave.
And suddenly being *cold*
Papa was in the hospitality room, eating crackers and cheese.
Everyone wanted him to sit down and rest.
But he stubbornly stood up to hug me.

Papa was concerned that I hadn't seen her yet.
He told uncle Robby to take me.
I said "not yet"
But Uncle Robby wakled me out anyway.
I looked once.
That was it.
They did her hair wrong.
I didn't want the "casket view" to be the image I remembered.
So I didn't look again.

I went home with someone,
(who?? why can't I remember THAT?)
And Andy make me Kings Hawaian bread french toast
along with an egg,ham,potato "thing"
and apple juice
We stayed up late.
Eating
Talking
Crying

In Loving Memory of
Jody VW