A PSALM
Praise the Lord oh Minneapolis and Saint Paul!
Praise thy God oh Minnesota!
For he hast placed thee here among the lakes and rivers.
He hast blest they children with a sense of modesty!

He maketh peace in thy homes.
And fillest thee with good apples and cheese.
He sendeth forth his commandment upon earth.
His word is everywhere among us
He is generous with snow
He scatters his snow upon us – over and over.

He makes cold and ice with powerful winds to draw us near to our kindred
And to ward off The thief, The Republican, And also those from Texas.

I will praise thee Lord that I may dwell in his house all the days of my life
And in the time of trouble he should hide me in his pavilion.
In the secret of his tabernacle he shall hide me.
He shall set me up upon a rock.

Hear oh Lord when I cry,
Have mercy upon me and answer me
Why hast thou allowed the wicked to prosper
While thy servant is bowed down with sorrow?
And why is Desperate Housewives a number one hit?
And also CSI, and American Idol?
Oh why oh God hast thou forsaken television?
What is the explanation for Donald Trump oh Lord
And for that matter, Lord God what is the reason for You-Know-Who-I’m-Thinking-Of . . .

Meanwhile, teach me they way oh Lord
And lead me in a plain path
And save me from cruelty
Had it not been for the goodness of the Lord we would have wandered long since into the dessert
and taken up residence in Las Vegas,
And become builders of office parks and gated communities.

Wait upon the Lord
He offers courage and he shall strengthen thine heart
Wait, I say, on the Lord.
Amen

- Slighty Adapted by Garrison Keillor