Thursday, March 18, 2004

I don't fall into trance-like states when someone reads out loud. Guided meditations, poetry readings, sermons, I approach them all with an analytical and focused mind, listening to the words, the use of language, staying firmly in the present. Besides, I don't relax in groups. Then Sister suggests we 'approach the water' and share some word or phrase that best expresses what has arisen in us, what emotion or feeling, during the meditation and singing. 'Oh Shit', I say to myself.

What arises in me is a sudden surging through the barrier reef of my social self, a feeling of despondency, grief and rebelliousness, of wanting to say, 'to hell with all of it!' and light up a cigarette, to chug on a beer, and say the word 'Fuck' really loud.


From Centered Path: