Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Yesterday I cried.
I came home, went straight to my room
Sat on my bed, kicked off my shoes
and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running
I cried until my ears were hot
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues
lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday I cried
for all the days I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days and all the ways
and all the times I had dishonoured, Dis-respected
disconnected my Self from myself
only to have it reflected back to me in the ways
others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have
them stolen
For the all the things I had asked for that had yet
to show up
For all the things I had accomplished only to give
them away to people and circumstances
which left me feeling empty, battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when the
only thing left for you to do is cry
Yesterday, I cried....

... Yesterday I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that caused it in the
first place,
and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
That my soul knew everything that I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday and it felt so good.
It felt so very very bad.
In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming
Yesterday, I cried
With an agenda...

Iyanla Vanzant
Thank you O.! (you have no idea how much I needed this!)